I guess he needs a good book

Transcript of an unsuccessful bedtime:

child who is supposed to be sleeping: Ruff! Woof woof woof woof woof woof aaaoooooooo! Aaooo!

mother who is listening from downstairs: (insert child's real name here)!!! Be quiet and go to sleep!

child: Ok Mommy.

(30 seconds of silence)

child: I'm being quiet, Mommy! I'm not barking anymore! No more woof woofs!

mother: Yep, you're being quiet. Now go to sleep.

child: Kiss?

mother: Yep. (Administers kiss, hug, blanket, and careful positioning of Mr. Cow. Leaves room.)

child: GOOD NIGHT MOMMY!

mother: Good night, baby.

(More silence, followed by various mutterings he doesn't know Mother can hear because he's speaking softly and doesn't know she has her monitor on. Content is unknown, but from a few minor phrases we can speculate that he's lecturing Mr. Cow on a need to go to sleep.)

(Silence)

(Whistling)

(Mother's comments: He's getting good at this, and he's only getting to 2.5 years old! He's a musical genius! I must ignore the desire to congratulate him on this successful attempt since he's supposed to be sleeping.)

(Rustling blankets)

(5 minutes pass)

child: I'm sleeeeping. I'm sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeping. I not awake aaaaanymore.

(Mother ignores this)

child: Mom! I'm sleeping, okay?

(Lots of silence)

child (softly): Up, up, up, up! Down, down, down, downdowndowndown! Don't worry! I'm coming!

mother (muttering to herself while on computer): What the heck is he doing up there?

(Listens to various rustling sounds and determines child is still in bed and is posing no danger to himself. Decides not to make an appearance.)

(More silence. Mother ponders and decides Mr. Cow must have been flying and had an accident, hence child's previous exclamations.)

(Thumping noises)

(Several minutes of silence in which Mother has time to read a few articles, answer a post, and read Julie's blog, link, and comments.)

child: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10!

child: (unintilligible....) big one! Big, big, big big big. Dohhhhhh! (think Do Re Mi, perfect pitch)

child: Can you see it? Can you? Oh, poor Daddy.

(Daddy's asleep, so Mother has no idea what child is doing)

(Really weird noises not compatible with a toddler bed cause Mother to enter child's room, where she finds him with the spout of his water cup clenched between his teeth. He was banging it back and forth between two slats by means of violently shaking his head back and forth.)
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After the water cup, he pretty much went to sleep. Must be hard having all that energy and being trapped in bed. At least I get to get up and hit the net!